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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24567490">I Have Failed You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spannah339/pseuds/Spannah339'>Spannah339</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(and obiwan has Issues because of this), (i love quigon he just wasn't the best master for obi-wan), Angst, Gen, Mustafar, No Happiness Only Pain, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Qui-Gon's A+ Parenting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:33:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>677</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24567490</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spannah339/pseuds/Spannah339</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The boy was over eager to learn, and far too quick to please. Obi-Wan wanted to dislike him, at first. He wanted to dislike the child he had been given charge of, the boy he had never wanted, had only taken on out of love for his dying master. He wanted to dislike the boy his master had thrown him aside in favour of, the boy Qui-Gon’s last words had been about. </p><p>(What about me, Master? Wasn’t I good enough to care about as you were dying? Was I really that much of a disappointment that you tossed me aside as soon as someone better came along?) </p><p>___</p><p>Character study of Obi-Wan after Phantom Menace and his relationship with Anakin and Qui-Gon's legacy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Have Failed You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
<p></p><div class=""><p>“<em>You were my brother, Anakin!” </em></p></div><div class=""><p>The boy was over eager to learn, and far too quick to please. Obi-Wan wanted to dislike him, at first. He wanted to dislike the child he had been given charge of, the boy he had never wanted, had only taken on out of love for his dying master. He wanted to dislike the boy his master had thrown him aside in favour of, the boy Qui-Gon’s last words had been about. </p></div><div class=""><p>(What about me, Master? Wasn’t I good enough to care about as you were dying? Was I really that much of a disappointment that you tossed me aside as soon as someone better came along?) </p></div></div><div class="">
  <p>But he couldn’t. Anakin was too eager, too excited about life, too damaged from his hard childhood for Obi-Wan to not warm up to him. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He woke in the night from nightmares. The first time Obi-Wan found him, curled in his bed was the first time he saw Anakin as just a boy - a child cut off and adrift, with no one in his corner. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Obi-Wan knew he wasn’t the right person to train him. That was supposed to be Qui-Gon’s job, but seeing this child, so lost and lonely and afraid, Obi-Wan knew he would do what he could. He would try, he would try so hard, even when he knew he wasn’t equipped, even when Anakin didn’t listen to him, rushed foolhardy into battle, reminded Obi-Wan far too much of Qui-Gon as he questioned the wisdom of the council. He would try, even as he failed. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“<em>I loved you!” </em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The Clone Wars raged across the galaxy and Obi-Wan found his world turned upside down again as he changed from a peace-keeper to a general. Anakin was knighted, and somehow, that lifted the tension between them. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>No longer master and padawan, they fought alongside each other as equals. Obi-Wan’s need to correct Anakin turned into a want to guide him, to show him a better way when there was one. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Back to back, side by side, Obi-Wan couldn’t think of another person he would rather have beside him than the young man he had watched grow up. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>(Maybe Qui-Gon. But somehow, Obi-Wan felt the war would have been avoided had his master survived. Obi-Wan hadn’t been able to fill the void he had left, had let him down and let down the whole galaxy.) </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Obi-Wan returned after facing Maul, battered and bruised and the aching in his heart he had carried since Naboo somehow stronger. Anakin hadn’t said anything, hadn’t <em>needed</em> to say anything. He had simply pulled Obi-Wan into a hug, comforting him, reminding him he wasn’t alone. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“<em>I hate you!”</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The words burned into Obi-Wan’s soul as he stood on the rocky shore, the heat from the lava blending sweat with his tears. The words burned into his soul, making the ache in his chest almost too much to bare, the reminder of all he hadn’t been able to do even sharper.  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anakin’s lightsaber weighed heavily in his hand as he staggered up the slope, the cries of the man he was leaving behind echoing in his ears. Anakin was burning, burning and dying and Obi-Wan had done that to him. Obi-Wan was leaving him to die. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His vision was blurred with tears as he stumbled through the rocks of Mustafar, Anakin’s cries a sound he would never forget. He had done that. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The boy he had watched grow, had raised. The boy he had raised and guided and trained and fought alongside. The boy, the padawan, the friend, the <em>brother</em>. He was gone. Replaced by a monster, left to die on a burning planet. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>(I was never good enough. How had I ever thought I was able to train the chosen one? I failed. I failed the moment I let Qui-Gon die. I failed the moment I took him on as a Padawan. I failed in <em>so many ways</em>. I would never have succeeded. I was never good enough.) </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Anakin’s agonized cries followed Obi-Wan as he left his brother to die. </p>
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